‘You Guys Want to Go to D.C. or Something Like That?’ Says Man Who Never Knows What’s Going On

RICHMOND, VA – Two days after the terrorist attack at the Capitol, a local Richmond man is reportedly asking his roommates if they want to go on a drive to D.C. while not knowing what just happened at the Capitol.

“Yeah, for whatever reason, my roommates got super pissed at me because I asked them if they wanted to go D.C. to get out of the house. But apparently, something went down the other day so now I’m kinda bummed,” said Clueless Richmond man Chris Hats.

“Chris always does this shit where he doesn’t remember or realize what’s going on. He always just acts like everything is fine and has no ability to reconcile when something serious is happening. He needs to chill,” said Hats’ roommate Bob Denn.