Yogi Bear Murdered in Texas Park After Trying to Steal Picnic Basket

ARLINGTON, TX – Yogi Bear was shot 27 times and killed at point blank range by an assault rifle after trying to steal a picnic basket from local camper Bobby Billy Macantrash at Ronny Tahoe’s Community Park.

“That fucker came sneaking out of the woods thinking he was gonna snag my picnic basket of beef jerky and mountain dews. Well he shoulda thought twice cuz I blew him away. I’d of done the same thing if it was a person trying to do it,” said Macantrash.

Macantrash isn’t expected to be charged with any crime since Texas doesn’t give a fuck what weapons you have nor gives two shits if you kill any wildlife.