ALLENTOWN, PA – Local woman, Carol Barell is very excited to give up candy for Lent this year, even though she tries and fails at giving it up as her New Year’s Resolution every year.
“I’m so excited to tell everyone how much of a good person I am that I’m giving up candy for Lent. Sure, I’ll probably give in and have a Twix, Snickers, and a Butterfinger by day three, but it’s the thought that counts,” said Barell.
Barell reportedly gives up candy every year for her New Year’s resolution and has only made it as far as January 3rd before she gives in and eats some. Barell also tells all of her friends, family, and coworkers every year that she’s giving up candy because she thinks that makes her a better person, when in reality, she’s a piece of shit Republican.