Woman Discovers She Has to Send Certified Letter Signed In Her Own Blood In Order to Cancel Gym Membership

HARTFORD, CT – Local woman Jordan Hacks recently decided that she wanted to cancel her gym membership after her fiancé built a home gym in their basement. Little did Hacks know how complicated the process would be.

“I checked online first and couldn’t find anything, so I called, and they said I had to come in to cancel. So I go in, and that person tells me that I need to send a certified letter signed in my blood to cancel my membership. It’s ridiculous and should never be this hard,” said Hacks.

When reached for comment, the gym, Planet Fitness, stated that a certified letter written in their blood is standard practice for someone who wants to cancel since the gym needs the blood to perform dark magic spells in retaliation for canceling their membership.