SEATTLE, WA – A local Seattle woman has broken up with her boyfriend today on Valentine’s Day after he bought her a terminally ill dog as a gift to try and prove the point that buying flowers that die in a week for someone is stupid.
“I was so excited at first when he brought this cute rescue dog out. He looked a little old but he was just so friendly that it warmed my heart. Then my boyfriend told me the dog had terminal cancer and isn’t expected to live longer than a month or two so I broke up with him immediately. My time will now be spent making this dog as comfortable as possible and spoiling him,” said ex-girlfriend Katie.
“Wasting my hard-earned money on flowers that will die a week after I buy them is just so stupid and pointless but Katie was always so annoying about wanting them. I tried to prove a point with this but I didn’t think she’d dump me,” said ex-boyfriend Derek.
Derek is reportedly going back to his old hobby of running over squirrels with his car with his newly acquired free time and is debating on upgrading to strangulation on other small mammals.