Wendy’s Announces New Never Refrigerated Beef, Fuck You McDonalds

COLUMBUS, OH – Fast-food chain Wendy’s, known for promoting beef that is never frozen, announced today that their beef will now never be refrigerated either.

“Our beef will now be fresher than all of our competitor’s product as it will come straight from the cow in the processing plants right to the Wendy’s restaurants,” said CEO Todd Penegor. 

“Our beef will never be frozen or refrigerated throughout the whole process and will remain in cupboards at the individual stores until use. You can’t get any fresher than that!”