Welcome to 2022, Life Still Sucks
WASHINGTON – With the new year upon the globe, many Americans have come to terms that life still sucks despite there being a pointless new year people to arbitrarily celebrate like they always do.
The report comes when Scientist John Koo, 31, determined that life isn’t expected to go on much longer due to the late stage of capitalism and climate change, confirming there’s no point to be excited over another year.
“Too many people are happy to celebrate a new year, but what does that exactly mean? If everything sucks just like it did last year, why does it fucking matter?” said Koo.