WASHINGTON – After being ridiculed for changing their team name to ‘Washington Football Team’ temporarily, billionaire owner Dan Snyder has now announced that the team name will be permanently changed to the ‘Washington Snyders’.
The new team logo will be a picture of Snyder’s face. In a corresponding move, the 55-year-old Snyder has signed himself to a sports record 20-year 800 million dollar contract to become the team’s new quarterback, becoming the first owner/player in NFL history.
“I’m sick and tired of being called a sexist, racist, asshole rich white man who has no idea what he’s doing. I’m going to let my play do the talking now as I lead my team to the Super Bowl this year,” said Snyder.
Snyder has also fired every woman in the Washington Snyders organization and has divorced his wife to eliminate what he describes as any and all sexual distractions for him and all the other men in the organization as they prepare for the season.