WASHINGTON – Members of the United States House Intelligence Committee received a classified briefing on UFOs, a polarizing and controversial subject many speculate the details surrounding it.
The classified briefing informed Members of the Committee that not even aliens give a fuck about the shitty planet known as Earth.
“Through our analysis of these UFOs, we can confirm that alien life doesn’t give a single fuck about useless humans and this gross planet,” said US Representative Devin Nunes.