U.S. Refuses to Give At-Home COVID-19 Tests: ‘That Would Take Common Sense and It’d Hurt Our Lobbying Money’

WASHINGTON – As the coronavirus is expected to hit millions of Americans in a viral blizzard within a few weeks as infections from the Omicron variant pile on top of Delta, many are urging the U.S. Government to give free at-home COVID-19 tests to help reduce the spread.

“That would take common sense and it’d end up hurting our lobby money. We can’t do anything to help our citizens unless they’re on the verge of revolting,” said President Joe Biden.

No citizen is surprised by President Biden’s remarks, claiming the U.S. is nothing but a third-world country with a Gucci belt and that no politician gives a fuck about the citizens they represent.