‘There’s a Full Moon Tonight So the Patients Are Gonna Be Crazy’ Says Annoying Lady

ALBANY, NY – Local nurse and dollar store regular Joanne Fenderpork loves her job but can’t stand working when there is a full moon, telling reporters that the patients act wackier than normal during a full moon.

“It’s always the craziest nights in the ER when there’s a full moon. The crazies come out of the woodwork every month on that night. I just don’t know why but I know it’s definitely the full moon’s fault,” said Fenderpork.

When reporters pressed Fenderpork on if maybe she just goes into the full moon night with the mindset that it’s going to be crazy, so if anything crazy happens, she automatically attributes it to the full moon, Fenderpork laughed at reporters, telling them they must be Geminis, whatever the fuck that means.