‘The Virus is Fake’ Says Woman Who Has Way Too Much Free Time

 ‘The Virus is Fake’ Says Woman Who Has Way Too Much Free Time

Arlington, VA – An Arlington woman claims the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic is completely fake, which most believe is a result of her having way too much free time.


Tori Ells, 43, claims the entire pandemic and everything related to it is a fake attempt by billionaires around the world to ‘turn us into sheep’. Despite having zero evidence other than Facebook posts and YouTube clips that have been debunked, Ells refuses to accept reality.


“I just love this country more than anything, and this dumb virus is because of these billionaires that want to inject us with mind-controlling vaccines,” said Ells, adding how even though she has a distaste for billionaires, she’s against a progressive tax cut and still supports our billionaire President. 


“This is an entire scheme to take money from good working people. COVID actually stands for Certificate of Vaccination ID. That’s proof alone!”


Many believe Ells and many others like her only feel this way because they have way too much free time on their hands. Claiming how all these people do is sit at home and write poorly worded claims on Facebook.


No matter what the case might be, as citizens, we’re either going to have to put our trust in professional doctors and scientists, or people like Ells; people who have no experience and have way too much time on their hands. 

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