SAN DIEGO, CA – While playing an in-depth game of jacks by himself, a local San Diego man is surprisingly normal despite being severely into playing the useless game of jacks. Jason Devin, 28, has been a fan of jacks since he was a child but feels misunderstood because of his love for a game […]Read More
AUSTIN, TX – While feeling miserable and unsure of what to do with his life, a local Austin man wants to make his life even more boring by listening to the World Series on the radio. The report comes after Wilson Tuski, 33, was met at a standstill in his life while trying to figure […]Read More
COLUMBUS, OH – After making the brave decision to purchase a minimalist phone to limit his time on a phone, a local Columbus man is reportedly keeping his iPhone too so he can scroll through Twitter at 3 A.M. The report comes after Chevy Niles, 26, wanted to take a step away from the technological […]Read More
LAREDO, TX – While coming up with new ways to seem more relevant and popular than ever before, a local Texas man decided to pick up a guitar for his photoshoot before realizing no one gives a fuck if you play guitar or not. The report comes after Chad Livingston, 33, hired a professional photographer […]Read More
CLEVELAND, OH – After spending a few weeks swiping left and right on the dating app Tinder, a local Cleveland man who has a ‘Make America Great Again’ hat on in every photo of his dating profile, still can’t seem to figure out why no one has matched with him. The report comes after Butch […]Read More
COLUMBUS, OH – Justin Douchman thinks he’s cooler than everyone else thanks to one simple fact: he drives really fast. So fast in fact, that he’s gotten over a dozen speeding tickets in the last few years. “Yeah man, I just love flying out there on the open road. You can’t slow me down with […]Read More
CLEVELAND, OH – While sitting in the heat of an October day wondering why it’s so warm out, a local Cleveland man is reportedly convinced ice cream is significantly healthier for you if it’s drinkable. The report comes after Vincent Atkins, 33, was convinced that if anything is put into a smoothie machine, it makes […]Read More
BATAVIA, NY – After driving around his car for far too long trying to run squirrels over, a local Batavia man is wondering if green tea will prevent his future homicidal tendencies. The report comes after Brendan Ratcliffe, 24, couldn’t stop driving around in his Hyundai Elantra searching for squirrels to run over for his […]Read More
MADISON, WI – A man dressed in full camouflage was struck and killed by a car today while crossing the street after the driver of the car didn’t see him. Bill Boombac, age 56, was pronounced dead at the scene after he was attempting to cross the street to go to the pharmacy. Boombac was […]Read More
LAKE PLACID, NY – A local man is suing a deer for damages sustained to his truck after he claims the deer hit his truck miles after he passed the ‘watch out for deer for the next 3 miles’ sign. “I was a good 5 or 6 miles past that sign when that bastard ran […]Read More
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