ALBANY, NY – Eric Dickerson, age 56, was pronounced dead at the scene today after being stabbed 147 times by 17 different grocery store cashiers. Witnesses claim Dickerson entered the clearly labeled ‘15 items or less line’ like a dick with more than double the maximum items. All 17 cashiers working at the time reportedly […]Read More
ROCHESTER, NY – After a string of grocery stores continued to feel annoyed at customers who refuse to walk their grocery cart back after loading their car, a list of local Rochester grocery stores have decided to add automatic turrets that’ll shoot anyone who doesn’t return their cart. The turret initiative comes after employees at […]Read More
ROCHESTER, NY – A man rightfully slashed slow-walking and oblivious people at a local grocery store this past afternoon. Ted Albatross, 34, was shopping in the produce section of a Wegmans when he was trapped on multiple sides by people having conversations, people rudely blocking any way in or out with their shopping carts, and […]Read More
© 2022, Sad Carrot News. All rights reserved.
