Study Shows Trip Around Grocery Store At Night, Even Though You Don’t Need Anything, Solves All Life Problems

ROCHESTER, NY – A new study from the University of Rochester revealed that a trip around a grocery store at night for no sole purpose other than to waste time solves all life problems.

The report comes as more Americans are reportedly feeling dreadful about the ongoing pandemic, causing many to look for ways to cope with the matter.

“Yeah, whenever I’m feeling shitty, I just walk around my Wegmans late at night and I immediately feel better. I just look for random snacks and it gets me in the right place. I haven’t been sick in years,” said local man Joe Neverland.