Study Shows Enthusiasm Toward Badminton is Clear Sign of Depression

STANDFORD, CA – A new study from Stanford University has drawn a link between people who are enthusiastic about badminton and depression, highlighting anyone who gets excited about the sport is severely depressed.

“If you happen to see anyone who gets overly excited about badminton, realize they more than likely have a problem. No one should give a fuck about that dumb sport, let alone feel pleasure when someone brings it up,” said lead scientist Dr. Dorothy Simmons.

If anyone you know gets excited about badminton, Dr. Simmons advises you to immediately bring that person to a hospital, as they’ll need to be under tight mental health evaluation for weeks or possibly even months.