Study Confirms Secret to Never Having COVID-19 is to Only Play Destiny 2 in House Alone 24/7

NEW YORK CITY – A new study from Columbia University confirmed that the secret to never having COVID-19 is to only play Destiny 2 in a house alone 24 hours a day.

“We recently looked at local man Chronic Tads, a 31-year-old male, who hasn’t gotten Covid because he never leaves his house since he works from home and plays Destiny 2 when he isn’t working,” said Lead Scientist Jesse Hax.

Tads reportedly has his groceries delivered and hasn’t left the house in months despite his two close friends, Will and James, asking him to come and hang out from time to time.