NEW YORK CITY – Local Yankees fan, Joe England, 28, is reportedly facing a crisis as his New York Yankees continue to underperform.
When England found out that sports don’t matter at all in the real world and that he could focus on things that matter in his life, England refused to acknowledge anything being said.
“Sports is the only thing that’s important in life. So when my teams play badly, my life is fucked. I don’t know what to do anymore,” said England.