SAN FRANCISCO, CA – After reading Thomas Sankara Speaks and Das Kapital, a local San Francisco Socialist feels conflicted about the matter due to the color red being associated with socialism, as the man, Pete Helnie, reportedly thinks he doesn’t look good in red.
“I completely agree with Marx’s labor theory of value and the future abandonment of capitalism into socialism, but unfortunately, I look horrible in red. It makes me look oddly shaped and I don’t know what to do,” said Helnie.
“All I want is to discuss what I’m learning to those around me, as they should know that capitalism is here to exploit the working class. Unfortunately, I look like a fucking bum in red, so it looks like I’m fucked.”