Scientists Discover Hell is Only Filled With Men Who Cut Their Small Lawns with Big Riding Lawnmowers

ANTARCTICA – A global team of scientists worldwide made a shocking discovery that hell is real and it’s only filled with men who, in their life on earth, cut their small lawns with giant riding lawn mowers.

“We were shocked with what we found, but after we thought about it, it makes perfect sense. Any man with a small lawn who cuts that lawn with a totally unnecessary giant riding lawn mower is a real piece of shit who deserves to rot in hell for all of eternity,” said lead scientist Hal Cooperscab.

The men banished to an eternity in hell are reportedly forced to suffer the agony of constantly cutting small lawns with nothing but a normal lawnmower.