CLEVELAND, OHIO – With many Americans feeling uncertain about the future of their country and what’s to come next, the presidential debates were a complete failure for reassuring Americans the country is on the right track.
However, sadists around the country are reportedly looking forward to more debates, as a way for them to gain more pleasure from the destruction and end of the United States empire.
“I love when stuff is messed up and awful, it really gets me going. Pain is what I love, and who can beat the pain tied to the presidential debates? This was awesome, and I can’t wait for more,” said local sadist Jonathan Ted.
“I couldn’t stop enjoying myself if you catch my drift. These debates fueled the pain I was looking for, and I can’t wait for more. I’m scared I won’t be able to feel that way again, which is why they should do these debates every day,” said local sadist Shelby Ellsworth.