WASHINGTON – President Biden has reportedly signed an executive order today that’ll raise the federal minimum wage from $7.25 an hour to $15 an hour by the year 2178, as a way to allow corporations to exploit the working class for years to come.
“I believe that every American who works 40 hours a week shouldn’t be living under the poverty level. That’s why my executive order guarantees all Americans won’t be living by today’s standard for the poverty level by 2178,” said President Biden while rubbing his forehead far too long.
“I know it’s over 157 years away, but it’s a start. Corporations make billions and could easily afford to pay all of their workers $22 an hour, but this is a start. It’s a step in the right direction and that’s what I’m here for, to do the bare minimum.”