Philadelphia Passes New Law Punishing Litterers by Making Them Wear a Dog Shock Collar in Public

PHILADELPHIA, PA – The City of Philadelphia passed a strict anti-littering law today that will punish people who are caught littering by making them wear a dog shock collar while in public. 

The new law is a three strike law where if caught littering the first two times you are hit with a very steep fine. If caught a third time, you are forced to wear a shock collar at all times.

“I’m getting sick and tired of these pieces of shit excuses for human beings throwing their garbage all over. How hard is it to just hold on to it for a little while until you find a trash can? If you want to act like an animal, then we are going to treat you like one,” said Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney.

Universal shock collar remotes will be made available at all public places and be made available for any private businesses. The remotes will work on anyone who is nearby with a shock collar.