AKRON, OH – Local peanut butter lover Tony Chinstrap has reportedly disowned his 3-year-old son Tommy, kicking him out of the house after discovering he has a peanut allergy.
“It basically came down to a choice between the greatest food in the entire world and my son. It’s obviously a no brainer. I can make another son but peanut butter cannot be replaced,” said Chinstrap.
“Honestly, how dare my son have a peanut allergy. He knows how much I love peanut butter so it’s just so rude. He was trying to ruin my life but it didn’t work and I’ll never forgive him for it.”