God Announces Second Biblical Flood to Cleanse Earth of TikTokers

HEAVEN, CLOUD 9 – God the Almighty released a statement that he will be having another biblical flooding of the Earth to cleanse the Earth of the pestilence known as TikTokers. “I’ve just been disgusted with the stupidity of the human race lately, and it’s only getting worse. No one reads books or educates themselves […]Read More

Country Music Linked to Causing Cancer

BALTIMORE, MD – A new cancer study by a team of doctors at Johns Hopkins University has shown a link between country music and ear cancer. The study shows that steady listening of country music causes an extremely aggressive cancer to form in the ear canals at a very rapid rate. Once contracted, your odds […]Read More

New York State to Introduce Cheetahs to Combat Deer Overpopulation

ALBANY, NY – New York State has announced that cheetahs will be brought in to the state as an introduced species to help combat the rampant deer population. One thousand wild cheetahs will be interjected to various parts of the state early next month.  “We believe this to be an excellent solution to help bring […]Read More

Man Rightfully Beaten After Backing Into Parking Spot in Empty Lot

DETROIT, MI – A man was severely beaten in broad daylight on Thursday afternoon in a 7/11 parking lot. Caught on video, the seemingly healthy man is seen backing his car into the parking spot of a clearly empty parking lot.  Two 7/11 employees are seen exiting the store, charging at the victim, and attacking […]Read More

Boy Shoots Father in Leg to Prevent Suicide from Cigarettes

CHARLOTTE, NC – Tom Robinson, age 10, is being hailed as a hero today after saving his father’s life by preventing him from committing suicide.  “My dad said he had quit smoking a couple of years ago but last night I peeked into the backyard and saw an unlit cigarette sticking out of his mouth,” […]Read More

Canada to Institute Purge Day Annually Starting in 2021

OTTAWA, QC – Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, announced a purge day will take place annually on July 1st starting in 2021. Formerly known as Canada Day, the day will entail all crime no matter how heinous or severe will be legal from 6 pm until 6 am the following day. “It worked in the […]Read More