Opinion: Anyone Who Still Texts “xD” or “:P” Should Be Tried for Crimes Against Humanity

WASHINGTON – As texting trends change throughout time, one thing is for certain: anyone who still texts “xD” or “:P” should be tried for crimes against humanity.

It’s a disgusting repugnant act that is a significant portion of everything wrong with humanity. Rightful execution is only applicable to those who still text the disturbing and dreaded xD or :P.

“I agree with the carrot’s overall opinion that people who text xD or 😛 are weirdos. That shit lasted for a few months years ago, give it up,” said an unknown poll response.