‘Oh Your Flight Was Delayed 8 Hours Before We Cancelled It? Here’s a $10 Food Voucher’ Says All Scumbag Airlines

AMERICA – The partisan divide has never been wider in this country than it is today but there is still one thing that both sides of the aisle can agree on, their mutual hatred of scumbag airlines.

Airlines delay and cancel flights with no compassion towards the people’s lives they are affecting and do little to remedy the situation while they rake in millions and pay fat bonuses to those in charge.

“My flight to Florida was delayed eight hours with no explanation given and then canceled. I wasn’t offered a refund or even a hotel to stay in for the night, they just offered me a $10 food voucher. $10 isn’t even enough to buy me a meal of shitty overpriced airport food. I fucking hate airlines,” said local traveler Bill Bust.

“We here at JetBlue are so sorry about the recent sharp uptick in flight delays and cancellations. To show you how sorry we are, we are bumping up the food voucher from $10 to $11. This huge increase really shows how much we truly care. Any questions are to be directed to our customer assistance line where you will be placed on hold forever,” said an official statement released from what many assume is a robot from JetBlue.