STANFORD, CA – A new study out of Stanford University has proven that the length of shorts past a man’s knees correlates to how big of a douchebag they are.
“We’ve found that the biggest douchebags are those men who wear basketball shorts that are far too big and way past their knees and men who still wear baggy oversized cargo shorts. These men are your classic piece of shit douchebags and should be avoided at all times,” said lead scientist Correlaneous Mofukka.
The study also showed that most men who wear shorter shorts above their knees are good decent people, while most men who still wear baggy jean shorts long past their knees are likely serial killers.