New House Bill Proposes Chuck-E Cheese Tokens to Hourly Wages Instead of Raising the Minimum Wage

WASHINGTON – With a never-ending debate over the subject of a $15 minimum wage, many House Democrats and House Republicans have created a bi-partisan effort that’ll include the current minimum wage of $7.25 plus a few Chuck E. Cheese tokens.

“Rather than raise the minimum wage to a liveable wage, I figured I’d give in to the Republicans and throw some of these tokens onto the current wage. At the very least, people can starve to death while having fun,” said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

However, the bill isn’t expected to get through the U.S. Senate, since Senator Joe Manchin is reportedly refusing to vote yes on it, claiming the bill is too progressive and that the minimum wage should be lowered rather than increased.