New Bug Spray Kills Human, Allowing Them to Avoid Mosquitoes Forever

PORTLAND, OR – A new bug spray from Outdoors Company Kill em All Bug Spray reportedly kills the human who uses the spray, allowing the person to avoid mosquitoes forever.

“Everyone knows how annoying mosquitoes are. Rather than develop a bug spray that kills the mosquito, why not make a spray that kills the person?” said Kill em All Bug Spray CEO Larry Johns.

The bug spray is reportedly selling well throughout its first week. No Kill em All Bug Spray users were able to leave a comment since they were all dead.