WASHINGTON – Local skeptic Bill Nelson, 31, reportedly went down the rabbit hole of discovering the U.S. is utter shit, comparing the average U.S. citizen’s livelihood and quality of life to citizens of other nations.
“I always thought this country was pretty lit but turns out if you just look up some stuff from history, you learn this place blows. I’m not sure why we didn’t learn any of this, it’s like they want us to be dumb,” said Nelson.
Nelson told reporters that he has aspirations to leave the U.S. but can’t due to school and medical debt that has no viable solution to eliminate.