My Pillow Founder Mike Lindell Arrested for Fucking the Pillows

 My Pillow Founder Mike Lindell Arrested for Fucking the Pillows

CHASKA, MN – My Pillow founder Mike Lindell has been arrested today after it was discovered that he fucks all of the pillows before they’re sent out.


An employee at the warehouse came in early for their shift and discovered Lindell fucking the pillows. After an investigation, police discovered that this was a nightly routine for Lindell, that he fucked each and every pillow before they were shipped out. Despite this, some customers don’t seem to mind.


“Ya know it’s whatever to me. Sure the pillow isn’t even that comfortable and has a strange odor of dried up manhood to it, but Mr. Lindell is a big supporter of President Trump, so that’s all that matters to me,” said Republican for life Billy Bob Borkins.


Lindell released a statement stating that all charges should be dropped immediately, as this just shows how much he truly loves his product. Lindell also falsely claimed that what he does to the pillows helps his customers get cured from the coronavirus after they lay their head down on the pillow.

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5 Comments

  • You are pure filth. You will be in my prayers! May God have MERCY on your Satanic heart. Wow, really??

  • What a bad person you are. You must be a Democrat.

    • I mean it’s not our fault that he fucks the pillows.

  • This is so totally preposterous that only a complete idiot would give it a second thought due to common sense alone. Out of the millions of pillow he’s sold, could anyone possibly believe such a ridiculous ritual could be humanly possible? This accusation is totally absurd & only shows who’s truly insane.

    • Jimmy I’m telling ya it’s crazy how much spunk that man has in him to creampie every pillow every night like that, I didn’t believe it at first either but it’s true.

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