My Pillow Founder Mike Lindell Arrested for Fucking the Pillows
CHASKA, MN – My Pillow founder Mike Lindell has been arrested today after it was discovered that he fucks all of the pillows before they’re sent out.
An employee at the warehouse came in early for their shift and discovered Lindell fucking the pillows. After an investigation, police discovered that this was a nightly routine for Lindell, that he fucked each and every pillow before they were shipped out. Despite this, some customers don’t seem to mind.
“Ya know it’s whatever to me. Sure the pillow isn’t even that comfortable and has a strange odor of dried up manhood to it, but Mr. Lindell is a big supporter of President Trump, so that’s all that matters to me,” said Republican for life Billy Bob Borkins.
Lindell released a statement stating that all charges should be dropped immediately, as this just shows how much he truly loves his product. Lindell also falsely claimed that what he does to the pillows helps his customers get cured from the coronavirus after they lay their head down on the pillow.
18 Comments
You are pure filth. You will be in my prayers! May God have MERCY on your Satanic heart. Wow, really??
What a bad person you are. You must be a Democrat.
I mean it’s not our fault that he fucks the pillows.
What a mean comment.
Beth, I hear you calling
But I can’t come home right now
Me and the boys are playing
And we just can’t find the sound
Just a few more hours
And I’ll be right home to you
I think I hear them calling
Oh Beth, what can I do?
Beth, what can I do?
You say you feel so empty
That our house just ain’t a home
That I’m always somewhere else
And you’re always there alone
Beth, I know you’re lonely
And I hope you’ll be alright
‘Cause me and the boys will be playing all night
This is so totally preposterous that only a complete idiot would give it a second thought due to common sense alone. Out of the millions of pillow he’s sold, could anyone possibly believe such a ridiculous ritual could be humanly possible? This accusation is totally absurd & only shows who’s truly insane.
Jimmy I’m telling ya it’s crazy how much spunk that man has in him to creampie every pillow every night like that, I didn’t believe it at first either but it’s true.
ronnie or is it ronda how does a gay boy like you even breath or talk all the time with a cock in you mouth 24-7
It’s because it’s your cock that’s in my mouth Johnny, so I have plenty of space to breathe and talk all the time with how small it is. Having a cock in my mouth is 100 times better than all the bacon you shovel into your artery clogged gullet you homophobic illiterate pork chop. Learn how to properly speak English before you come at me with your pathetic 4th grade education.
THANK YOU FOR BEING AN HONEST PERSON WITH INTEGRITY.MIKE IS GOING THROUGH HELL JUST AS PRESIDENT TRUMP WAS ATTACKED FOR HIS LOVE OF AMERIUCA & ITS PEOPLE. LOOK EVEN THE COURTS ARE IN VOLVED
Dolores I’m struggling to come up with something witty in response to your comment but your comment is just so beyond stupid that it has me befuddled. Beyond the fact that you made multiple grammatical errors and spelled multiple words wrong, I’m confused as to why you used all capital letters. Anyways, go read a book or something. Your stupidity is insulting me. Stay in school kids.
The Democratic Sodalists must really be worried to put out such sick stuff. I forgot you got the governor of New York to look up too. or an empty suit in the white house. 2022 is coming.
Billy let me tell ya you hit the nail right on the head. Who do these democratic sodalists think they are trying to tell us what kind of soda to drink all the time! And that scumbag Cuomo is nothing compared to our man Trump! Trump definitely didn’t assault those 2 dozen women that accused him unlike Cuomo. 2022 is coming right after 2021 for sure!!!
Ronnie, Poor Ronnie. Have you seen any pictures of Andrew Cuomo with Jeffrey Epstein? I saw pictures of Trump with him, after he said he “thought he had heard of him”. We know Trump paid off Stormy Daniels, to keep her quiet, but after she cashed the check she sang like a bird, How Rude, but after all she takes her clothes off for money, why not advertise, Donald Trump has assaulted more women than he has married. He has cheated on all 3 wives. Cheated on his taxes, filed bankrupcy against his friends, illegally messed with his fathers will, to cut out his disabled nephew, Went to the movie when his brother was dying.Lied and lied and Lied some more about the election. He has had a year to produce proof. I haven’t seen any yet. When will you people grow up. Biden beat the socks off Trump.period.
Sarcasm: The use of irony to mock or convey contempt.
45 lovers and Mike Lindell supporters: this is called sarcasm! It is like ‘The Onion’ which is a news article that is funny or not factual. No wonder you believe the ‘diarrhea of the mouth’ from 45! You cannot tell fake from real or facts. Now I get it!
OMG the comments here were ridiculous! Obviously GOP or Repuglicans. Wow.
old mike , stay off the crack boy
he can fuck all my pillows too if he wants to.