FLORIDA – With tensions rising across the U.S. as the inauguration of President-Elect Biden is a few days away, most Americans are reportedly completely fine with cutting off Florida and throwing it in the ocean.
“Honestly, fuck Florida. It’s filled with old people and shitty vacations. Anyone who enjoys going to Florida is everything that’s wrong with this country. I hope we cut it off and let it sink in the ocean. Fuck that place,” said New York Citizen John Wolly.
“I’ve lived in Florida my whole life and I couldn’t agree more. If there’s anything that can be done to help this country, it’s to drill into the Earth and let this piece of land float away into the ocean. There’s nothing I hate more than being from Florida,” said Florida Woman Crystasia Bell.