Minor Stimulus Check Successfully Distracts Citizens From Realizing The Rich Rob From Them Every Day

UNITED STATES – As many Americans successfully received their third round of stimulus checks, the report demonstrates how a minor stimulus check can successfully distract citizens from realizing the rich rob from them every day.

“Yeah, I honestly wish we didn’t give these fucks anything, but hey, a few bucks to them is better than a full-blown revolution. If it costs us $1,400 to a few Americans to prevent a revolution, that sounds ideal to me,” said Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen.

“This is awesome! I know my boss completely fucks me every single day and I pay more in taxes than a lot of billionaires, but a free $1,400 makes up for it! Let’s fucking go!” said American Jimmy Dott.