NEW YORK CITY – McDonald’s announced today they plan on putting electronic motorized scooters in all of their U.S. locations for customer use by the end of the year.
“We believe bringing in these scooters will cater to the majority of our customer base; middle-aged white Republican Americans,” said CEO Chris Kempczinski.
The electronic scooters will reportedly be the same as those you see in grocery stores.
“No longer will our customers have to worry about walking from the front door to the register.”
Steve went on to say that all scooters will be equipped with folding trays so that all customers can eat while sitting in their scooters.
In an effort to keep up with the competition, Burger King has announced that beginning November, all customers who eat there five or more times per week are eligible to receive free health insurance.