Man Who Has Been In Coma for Over 30 Years Asks To Be Put Back Into Coma After Finding Out How Shitty the World Is

 Man Who Has Been In Coma for Over 30 Years Asks To Be Put Back Into Coma After Finding Out How Shitty the World Is

PHOENIX, AZ – Local man Todd Humper miraculously woke up today after being in a coma for 32 years sustained from a serious car accident. After awakening, Humper requested to be put back into a coma after finding out how shitty the world is.


“Yeah, I woke up and at first I was excited to be back but then I found out the planet is literally dying from climate change and no one is doing anything about it, we fucked up the Middle East pretty badly, and then I found out who our last couple presidents were. What the fuck America. So I asked to be put back into a coma,” said Humper.


Humper stated if he can’t be placed back into a coma, he will look into finding a country that’ll perform voluntary physician-assisted euthanasia on him to rid his soul from this shitty place.

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