Man Struggles to Come Up With New Scapegoat Why Companies Are Still Short-Staffed Even After His Previous Scapegoat, Enhanced Unemployment Benefits, Ran Out 2 Months Ago
BINGHAMTON, NY – Local dumbass Otto Cornnugget is getting sick and tired of waiting longer for service when he goes out to eat at Applebees and waiting in long lines at Walmart due to a worker shortage.
All summer, Cornnugget spouted the shortage was because people were lazy and sat on their couch collecting enhanced unemployment benefits that the government provided during the pandemic.
Now that those benefits expired over two months ago, Cornnugget is struggling to come up with a new scapegoat for why businesses are struggling with staffing shortages.
“I just don’t get it. People just don’t want to work. I thought for sure they’d go back to work after the benefits expired but apparently not. People must be stealing or something cuz it definitely isn’t the corporation’s fault,” said Cornnugget.
“These companies are offering excellent wages at around 10 bucks an hour and quality high deductible health insurance. Back in my day, that was more than enough to support a family so that’s still true today I’m sure.”