Man Ruins Thanksgiving After Trying to Put Live Turkey in Oven

CINCINNATI, OH – Local man Harry Muff was excited to host his entire family for his first Thanksgiving dinner as a host, purchasing the turkey weeks ahead of time to prepare.

“I put the turkey in my backyard for the weeks before thanksgiving and then brought it in when it was time to cook it. I just didn’t know it had to be dead to cook it. It refused to go in the oven and it really beat the shit out of me,” said Muff.

Muff’s family reportedly showed up for dinner to find his kitchen destroyed and Muff covered in cuts and bruises while the turkey calmly roamed the living room. The family ordered pizza for dinner which ended up being better than a stupid turkey dinner anyways.