Man Obsessed With Balloons Not Sure How to Feel About Hot Air Balloons

SAN DIEGO, CA – A local balloon enthusiast, Charlie Mile, 49, has been a major fan of all things balloon-related since he was a child. However, Mile reportedly is confused about how he should feel about hot air balloons.

“People would think a hot air balloon is a natural fit for me, but ever since I found out it’s not like the movie UP where they just fly because of the balloon and it’s more because of a flame or something, fuck them,” said Mile while slowly stroking a deflated red balloon.

“I know this is kinda difficult for people to understand but I’m not going to like everything that has the phrase balloon in it. Just give me a throw-back typical balloon that I can blow to put air in.”