HAMBURG, NY – Local man Nick Todd, 34, is reportedly confused why he feels shitty all the time. The news comes after Todd went out for the 15th straight night, drinking nothing but rum and coke.
“I don’t get it. I feel so tired and like shit all the time. I just go out with a bunch of random people who I consider my friends and never feel right. Maybe I just need to go out more,” said Todd.
Todd told reporters that he’s considering going out in the morning and at night to help distract him from feeling tired all the time. A recent study confirmed Todd to be a moron.