PITTSBURGH, PA – A local man snapped today and killed 17 people and injured dozens of others after getting fed up with elevator small talk with people he doesn’t even know every morning.
“Every morning I get in the elevator with random people and they always have to comment on the weather or some other pointless thing. I hate it so much. Just shut the fuck up and stare at the floor for the 20 seconds we are together. Sure I may have overreacted a bit but cmon man,” said the man, Cody Frencher.
Authorities say Frencher is cooperating fully and has requested that he permanently be placed in solitary confinement so he doesn’t have to talk to anyone.