Man Dumbfounded to Find Out U.S. Isn’t Greatest Country in World After Going on Vacation in Europe for First Time

VENICE, ITALY – Kevin Durkerdurg, age 58, has always thought his whole life that the U.S. is the greatest country in the world. After going on vacation in Europe for the first time with his wife, Durkerdurg was dumbfounded to find out there are plenty of countries that are better than the U.S.

“Yeah, I was just so surprised by how many things were better in all these countries than the U.S. The food was fresher and better, the cities were all much prettier, the wait staff make a livable wage, they care about the environment and use paper straws, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg,” said Durkerdurg.

“Everyone was so much friendlier everywhere we went too. They all spoke multiple languages and all said they love their universal healthcare and free college. I have to spread the word to all of my racist patriotic friends when I get home!”