MIAMI, FL – A Minnesota man has quit his job, packed up, and moved his life to Miami due to growing boredom pertaining to his mundane life. Nick Dimple, 27, told reporters he is taking the situation a step further by having a shark bite one of his legs off this summer, so he has a cool story to tell everyone.
“I just am getting so sick of my life. I have nothing cool going on in my life and no cool stories to tell so I figure I’ll just have one of my legs bit off by a shark so I have a badass story to tell everyone for the rest of my life. Plus I can go on disability and not work anymore and shit,” said Dimple.
Dimple also told reporters that he plans on swimming every day this summer to maximize his chances of a shark attack and if he has no luck towards the end of the summer, he’ll turn to drastic measures and cut open his leg to chum the waters and attract a shark.