PITTSBURGH, PA – Local Pittsburgh man Benji Jens, 33, is reportedly confused if his sore throat is the common cold, flu, COVID-19, cancer, or allergies. Jens has been suffering from a sore throat for a few days and doesn’t know what to do.
“I don’t know what to do anymore. This sore throat is pretty gnarly and I tested negative for Covid, but what is it then? It could be a cold, the flu, cancer, or allergies. Who knows!” said Jens.
Jens told reporters he’s considering locking himself in a room with nothing to drink but NyQuil as an attempt to rid of whatever virus or illness is plaguing his body.