Man Bummed He Didn’t Get COVID-19 to Avoid Family Get-Together

LOS ANGELES – A local Californian man, George Smithe, 28, is reportedly upset he didn’t contract COVID-19 so he could avoid his family’s annual Christmas get-together.

“I hate going to this dumb family thing every year and all I wanted was to get covid so I could avoid the dumb party. Instead, me going out had no effect on the matter and I still have to go,” said Smithe.

Smithe told reporters he went to bars and nightclubs every day for the last month, licking the floors and talking to random patrons, with the aim to get COVID-19.