NEW YORK CITY, NY – A man was beaten in an alley off of Times Square today by seven unidentified people dressed as Elmo after refusing to tip them for a picture he didn’t want.
“I was just minding my own business when all of a sudden I was swarmed by these dirty smelly Elmos. One took a disposable picture while the others pressed around me and then they demanded I pay them,” said the man.
“When I said no they started shoving me so I took off running down an alley and they chased me down and viciously beat me up. It was the most terrifying moment of my life and I’m still recovering from my injuries.”
Elmo #5, the lead Elmo of the gang, released a statement that the Elmo’s are getting sick and tired of the little to no tips they have been receiving from people and have now turned to violence and will turn to murder if necessary to get what they deserve.