Local Man Against Legalization of Cannabis Because He Hates the Color Green

WASHINGTON – With ongoing pressure to legalize cannabis at a federal level, one local man is reportedly against legalization because he hates the color green.

Danny Feld, 29, has nothing against people who smoke or eat marijuana but has a strong distaste for it becoming federally legal because of how much he hates the color green.

“I know how beneficial pot can be for people, but fuck that. I hate the color green and if it becomes legal, I’m going to see that color everywhere,” said Feld.

“Why do you think I hate Saint Patricks Day so much? Anything that’s green is a big no-no for me, so they better not legalize it.”