JERUSALEM, ISRAEL – Jesus Christ almighty himself has finally, after over two thousand years, risen from the dead. A victory parade is scheduled for this Wednesday through Jerusalem.
Almost all people across the world are rejoicing in his return. Ironically, Americans seem to be the only people not happy with Jesus’ return.
White evangelical Christians across the United States are flipping out saying that this man is an imposter. Many people believe that Americans are not believing that this is the real Jesus because of the color of his skin, which is dark since he is of Middle Eastern descent.
Americans were brought up in church and in school with pictures and stories portraying Jesus as a white man and now their extreme racism towards people of Middle Eastern descent is getting in the way of their love of Jesus.
“I just don’t know what else I need to do to prove to them that I’m the real thing. I’ve walked on water, turned water into wine, and made some dead guy come alive again on live TV just to prove to them and they still don’t believe me,” said Jesus through a translator because no America, he doesn’t speak English.