BATON ROUGE, LA – Local crawfish farmer Lonnie Donald refuses to get any of the COVID-19 vaccines, claiming we don’t know what’s in it. The news comes after six of Donald’s family members died of COVID-19 and he was severely sick with it.
“We just don’t know what’s in that vaccine ya know. You just don’t know what it’ll do to you. I’d much rather get Covid as I did cuz we at least know what that’ll do, potentially kill you. But I survived so it’s all good,” said Donald while drinking a Mountain Dew.
Reporters pointed out to Donald his hypocrisy since when he had COVID-19, he took ivermectin, an anti-parasitic medicine for fucking horses.
Donald stated his ivermectin use was different because no horses have ever died from it, even though no one has died from any of the COVID-19 vaccines, while millions have died of COVID-19. Doctors advise against taking the fucking horse medicine because it’s for fucking horses.