RICHMOND, VA – Local furby collector Gerry Sphincter is refusing to get the COVID-19 vaccine despite the deadly potential alternative, claiming we don’t know what’s in the vaccine.
“It’s just such a risk ya know. I don’t wanna put anything in my body that could potentially do any harm. We just don’t know what’s in it,” said Sphincter while creepily petting a Furby.
Sphincter told reporters he gets the flu shot every year, tetanus shot, and takes other medicines when he’s sick but couldn’t answer and turned very red when reporters asked him what was in all of those things.
As reporters walked out at the end of the interview, they heard Sphincter beating his Furby as punishment.